Day 21, Proverbs 1-9: To whom/Whom do we listen?

Proverbs is in many ways such a practical guide to life that it has been said many times that if you know the proverbs well, there is an answer for any situation you come across. Now, people will also nit-pick this generalisation, but I do believe the principle holds. Certainly not every situation is covered in detail, but the principles exhorted within these pages can be used to identify foolish and wise paths in any decision, though there may be multiple paths in each category.

The Proverbs are divided in a few sections, or collections. The passage, chapters 1-9, under study today is direct writings from Solomon, known in Scripture as the wisest man who lived - We'll see him again when we look through Kings. He did not always live wisely, but God did grant him exceptional knowledge of wisdom - and his example does show us the necessity of applying the wisdom we learn, and not just leaving it as head knowledge.
This section seems especially directed at the young - those finding out about life, going out on their own, making their own decisions, and their own mistakes. It is personal, loving and caring, from the perspective of one wise in years seeking to guide the youth and prevent his (or her) falling into trouble by giving them the tools to know good paths and bad. "My son" is used 23 times in Proverbs, 15 of these times it is this first section. Wisdom (evidently) is the focus of the book, mentioned 54 times, 24 times in this first 9 chapters.

Here is the purpose of the advice:

To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding;  (Pro 1:2)

To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity;  (Pro 1:3)

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.  (Pro 1:7)

So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;  (Pro 2:2)

For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.  (Pro 2:6)

When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;  (Pro 2:10)

Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.  (Pro 4:5)

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.  (Pro 4:7)

For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.  (Pro 8:11)

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.  (Pro 9:10)

Listing one more statistic: "hear" or "attend" is also used 15 times in this section, and to me, reading through, this was the main theme of the section. To whom do we listen? Do we listen to wisdom - or reject the advice of wisdom and go our own way? Do we listen to the enticements of folly - it seems clear in the examples when we read it in the page, but how often in my own life do I stop to listen or consider going down a path I know is going to just tempt me more?

I just watched a movie on TV tonight - 'Amoured' - about a new security guard roped in to participate in robbing an armoured car and lie about it, saying they were hijacked when they actually stole the money themselves. Of course there are plot twists etc., but rather than go into that, I'll just dwell on his entering into the situation. At first he rejects their offer, but he is in a tight spot at home, and social services is on his case about his younger brother (parents died recently) skipping school, and threatening to take his brother away. This convinces him to risk it provided 'no one gets hurt'. But by 'walking in the way with them', he ends up caught up in much more, and finds it a trap that he can't get out of.
In the case of this movie, the situation brings in physical isolation to prevent his going to help, but there are many examples where we can get into situations where having 'tested the waters', we are suddenly in too deep to get out without looking bad, so we end up staying in the water, perhaps unwillingly at first, but drawn deeper and deeper because it is easier to go along with it than try to get out, and then we are trapped. Interesting to think about in the context of what we were reading.

My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.  (Pro 1:10)

There are a number of things that keep coming up in these wisdom principles in the passage. What we say is a major theme, which then splits into deliberate deceit, promises, and generally how we speak.

Deceit and lying is included in the list of the things the 'Lord hates', and rightly so! How much trouble is caused by people deceiving each other! While I thought of this topic, I was reminded of a conversation I had in the hostel about 'brutal honesty'. There is a perception that lies are necessary for a functioning society, and that to be honest, you have to speak your mind about anything and everything without regard to the hurt or feelings of others. But this is an incorrect and just as wrong extreme... this expression shows pride and arrogance more than true honesty. Instead, we should seek to build each other up with our words. We can be honest while being tactful - choosing whether it is wise to say something, or if it more helpful to leave it unspoken. That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.  (Pro 5:2)

How we speak shows our love to our neighbours, also... lying to them, spreading discord (gossip), bearing false witness... none of these show love, but are generally motivated by our own pride and self-interest. It is something I am mindful to be careful of with some of my friends, because I know their tendency to bad-mouth people they know, and I need to be careful not to encourage malicious talk - sometimes there are accurate criticisms of how someone works, but more often it is just dislike of the person or how they act, which is sad.

There are also points about being careful what you pledge your word for - today  giving your word seems to mean a lot less, but it is important for us as Christians to indeed say what we mean, and not give our pledge lightly. If we have found we have given a pledge unwisely, it is best to rectify the situation as soon as possible.

Finally, I cannot leave this section without considering sexual passions. It is a subject that fascinates our culture perhaps more than is wise, and probably has done with every culture in the past also - some 'deal with it' by not talking about it at all, others 'deal with it' by talking about it to the nth degree and analysing it until there is nothing left private. I always find it refreshing to see how the Bible deals with it though. It is not scared to be somewhat explicit... to describe the enjoyment of sexuality in the bounds of marriage.

Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? 

(Pro 5:15-20)

This  description in chapter 5 is beautiful... the wife seen as a source of pure water, a private cistern, and the husband a spring, both enjoying the fresh water (sexual relations) together... neither should waste them or cheapen their own or their partners sexuality by sharing with strangers or leaving the other vulnerable to sharing their 'water' with others. The picture of 'Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight' and the idea of intoxication with each other is a blessed thing... and note the same word is used in relation to the forbidden women - intoxication can be a good thing if it is within God's design, but the gift He has given us can be abused - the moment may seem as intoxicating, but there are consequences later (Ch 7). 

All these truths are equally true for women... Proverbs may be written to 'my son' and therefore deal with an adulteress, but adulterers are just as common if not more so, and it is interesting to flip the gender in chapter 7 and see how much applies equally - in many ways a classic description of a 'player' so despicably venerated in popular media and society.

The topic brings to mind the recent talk on the news about rape culture and sexuality. As with many others, I have seen the news, and seen screeds of opinion pieces analysing the case and the culture from every angle, but my usual feeling after reading an article on the topic is just how far from Christianity the conversation seems to be. I don't reply to posts like that on the internet unless I know the person and know it won't just turn into a flame/troll war, but I do find it sad. The general conclusion seems to be 'we must insist that men get explicit consent for any sexual contact - not saying no is not enough'. One article did point out that in NZ we don't like asking/stating things explicitly - we often prefer to be guided by non verbal cues, and they also rightly pointed out it can change if we change cultural perceptions because the non-verbal cues can be misinterpreted or ignored, especially if both parties are inebriated.
Now in principle I do agree with the idea of consent before sex - it's the flippant acceptance of the idea that things like one night stands and hook-ups going from no romantic contact to full sexual access, even with some sort of 'yes' in the flurry of passion/inebriation that I object to. According to the Bible, it is the decision to marry that gives consent for sex - anything else, even when one is saying 'yes I want it' (whichever partner) the loving thing to do is to say 'no it's not right'. Let us enjoy and promote sexuality as God's great gift within marriage, and I pray to God for wisdom in expressing this idea to others in humility, but upholding God's standard as a good way of life - not an archaic way of diminishing sexuality as it is often perceived - but praising His wisdom in granting us a structure to enjoy this great gift!